Christmas Eve Dinner

Well, dinner went off beautifully, except for one thing--we're inundated with snow and sleet (horizontal snow and sleet) high winds, sub-freezing temperatures, and Jennie, Tom, and Alisa are in a motel in Pauls Valley (35 miles south of us). They got as far as they could and ran into white-out so stopped where they were--fortunately they were at a town, and got a motel. They're all good, tucked in and warm for the night. They'll try to finish tomorrow, as the storm should be gone by then. If the highways have re-opened they will make it. In the meantime, Bobby's son, daughter and her family and Mark were here for supper. It was very successful this year. I made the best pork roast in the crock pot--I got the recipe from Amy in Houston. I also roasted a turkey breast with lots of herbs, citrus and aromatics--it had a really good flavor and fine texture. I made parmesan and bacon mashed potatoes (yum!) and roasted veggies (cauliflower, carrots and baby Brussels sprouts). Instead of olive oil, I used the bacon grease with salt and pepper over the veggies--what's not to love about that? Every morsel was eaten of the veggies and the potatoes. I had a really small amount of turkey leftover--maybe enough for a couple of sandwiches, and a few inches of one of the pork tenderloins, with its gravy. Oh yes, and I also made a trifle--angel food cake soaked in simple syrup flavored with vanilla and citrus, strawberries and raspberries, French vanilla pudding and REAL whipped cream. I made a syrup from some strawberries and raspberries and that was served over each individual serving--there is a SMALL amount of that left over--everyone had seconds of that. So, not enough for a repeat tomorrow--when Jennie and her group get here, Calysta is also coming and we'll eat cheesburgers for lunch and aebelskivers for supper. Altogether we had a wonderful day, and expect more tomorrow. Merry Christmas all.

smiling...

Bobby says the most frequent picture of me lately is sitting at my PC smiling. I have pictures (they change daily--sometimes hourly depending on what pictures were posted last) of Avery on my desktop and can't stop smiling at her. What a darling baby! For me, it's like looking down a tube or looking glass--from me to her--it's a long way there, but she's firmly in my heart. I was thinking about my great grandmother and my great granddaughter--such a span--so many generations. I don't have too much to say--too busy smiling--but Merry Christmas to all! Some of my family will be here this year so I'm happy about that, and I'll have a Merry Christmas, also.

New Generation

This is the new generation. Her name is Avery Danielle, and she arrived at 3:55pm CST, weighs 7lb 12oz, and is 19 3/4" long. I heard that Karie was a champ--we're not surprised by that, of course. I see her grandma when I look at her beautiful face. Wow! P.S. -- The word from Austin is that Wilson did a fantastic job supporting Karie during the process. Way to go, Wilson!!

White Wheat

So, I have made a discovery--white wheat! I had a visit from the Relief Society presidency and during our conversation, I had asked about purchasing wheat from the Bishop's Storehouse. She said they bought as a ward frequently, and she mentioned white wheat. As I had never heard of this, I asked about it. The president, Cindy, didn't know a lot, but the counselor she brought with her did, and she liked it. Well, since I wanted to buy some wheat, and it sounded good, I bought 50 pounds of it--besides the price was great--I mean REALLY great--$11.80 for 50 lbs. Well, let me tell you, it's wonderful! The wheat when ground appears about half way between whole wheat flour and white bleached flour in color. The dough it makes is very soft--and I mixed it about half and half to bleached flour. The bread is great--very tender and soft. Bobby's worried because it's very tasty and delightful--he has visions of many pounds added...so, in all, I would recommend this product to anyone who grinds wheat and makes his/her own bread. One more thing. I would like to purchase dried corn next year when I'm in Utah--apparently, here in the heartland where cornbread is the national food, they don't have it! Hopefully someone will help me out and discover where I can buy some.

Day After, or "Nana, why do they call it Black Friday?"

So, on Thanksgiving afternoon, we were watching commercials about "Black Friday" and Calysta thought it should be red and green Friday because it's the beginning of Christmas. Trade, profit and loss, and money-making strategies are difficult to explain to a 6-year old, but she understands shopping. We're going out later today. She is excited to make me something that will go permanently on my Christmas tree, which is about 3 feet tall and covered with stuff my children made me when they were little. She wants to be represented, too. We'll hit the Hobby Lobby first. If we find the right project, we will go directly home to work on it. She's also eager to "put up the tiny tree". I guess we have been making memories and setting traditions without conscious effort. You just never know what memories will stick in your children's heads--or yours either for that matter. Alex called me yesterday to tell me a secret ("I love you, Nana"). Calysta was here and they immediately got on the phone and chattered for about 5 minutes. It was one of the highlights of my day--those two little girls talking and laughing together! I wish all my children and their children a very Merry Christmas season--have fun guys. I also wish this for my other children--those of my brothers--and also their babies--whom I love fiercely and miss terribly.

Thanksgiving prep

Well, I have made the mashed potatoes with bacon and mozzarella and parmesan cheeses (YUM), the dressing with roasted chestnuts (as it turns out they're great--I had never had them before) freshly baked French bread cubes, dried cranberries, sweet Italian sausage and assorted other stuff, both ready for the oven on Thursday after the bird comes out. Mark will be here later to prepare the brine and we'll drown the turkey until Thursday AM when I put it in the oven. Tomorrow I'll prepare the green beans. On Thursday, I'll roast the sweet potatoes and Brussels sprouts (quartered long-wise) in the oven with olive oil, salt and pepper. Oh one more thing, I had bought a container of dried cranberries and put about 2/3 of them in the dressing. Then I reconstituted the remaining 1/3 in cranberry juice with orange rind, orange slices and juice. Made a terrific cranberry sauce--maybe the best ever!! Whew! Tonight I also made beef stew so when Mark comes back after delivering Calysta to her mom, we'll have a nice supper. Then I will sleep very well. G'night all!

Mini-pumpkin Cakes

These were so much fun! The recipes were in the October issue of Southern Living magazine. There are two recipes for the cakes--pumpkin and pumpkin molasses. I used the pumpkin one. The glaze is caramel glaze and the stems/leaves/tendrils are molded caramels. These will be individual desserts or party favors for those at my Thanksgiving Dinner.

November 2009

The month is getting away from me and I haven't written a blog. Eric graduated this month; Jennie will graduate next month. My brother died. I saw the Grand Canyon. Altogether it was a momentous month, not altogether wonderful. I was mentioning a pan I saw in Southern Living magazine, that when I went to the website (www.wilton.com) where they said I could get it, they said it was unavailable. My beautiful and generous daughter-in-law, Amy, told me she had seen the pan at the local Michaels out in Queen Creek. So we ran by and there was one left--and she let me get it! Now I'm on a quest to find her one. It may not be this year, but I'll do it. I'm perturbed that the magazine would advertise something that's unavailable, and I'm sure they and Wilton heard many complaints about it. Maybe that will spur them to make it available again. I'm making the cakes today. I love being retired. I can make whatever plan I choose and barring something unexpected, I can feel assured that I can do it. It's freedom of the First Water. I have been thinking about my great-grandmother lately (for obvious reasons). Her name was Martha Jensen Rasmussen. She's the one who lived next to my grandparent's house who lived next to us. We called her Ma. Her home was a polling place, and she, along with other women ran the polls on every election day. I would go over and watch. I had to sit quietly on the couch and just watch, but it was interesting. When I go to vote these days, I always pay attention to the ladies at the polls and thank them for their work when I leave. One thing: Ma always had coffee and tea served in a beautiful service set, pastries and other goodies for the ladies who were working at her home. Well, my nose is telling me that my cakes are ready to come out of the oven, so I'll go for now.

Momentous news!

Bobby retired yesterday! He had planned to take his return to work authorization to his work and see what needed to be done before returning next Monday (he has been off since late July with back difficulties and surgery, you remember). After he was there for a little while, he just went back to the HR office and told them he was done--do the paperwork, please. He's still a little shaky...

Halloween thoughts

Well, I was wondering why we (my children and I) never made much of Halloween in our family. I tried to remember what I did as a child and I think I had the Big Aha. No one, as long as I can remember, did much for Halloween. When we were really little, Bobby and I had to figure out something to wear--not our regular clothes--usually a gypsy and pirate--we could use mostly regular clothes and do a few extra things to make those costumes OK. I know people did Trick-or-Treating and we did too, but that's about it. No one in any of the three houses we grew up in did any decorating, and there were no scary stories or really anything except foraging for costumes and eating resulting candy. I went to a Halloween costume party once (I must have been around 10 or 11) and there were decorations, games, including bobbing for apples, mothers dressed up as witches and a lot of hilarity, but it was the only time I ever saw that as a child. So, with apologies to my children for our Halloween lack and my particular Halloween lapse I hope you find your First-Holiday-of-the-Season lots of fun and very scary!!

Sick/hurt kids

I guess it doesn't matter how old your children are, when they're hurt or sick, you're worried and do what you can for them. I went to Dallas to take Wendy for a short procedure, but one that she needed to be driven home from. Anyone in the area could have done it, but since I have just retired, it seemed like a fun thing that we could do together...and we did. We went to dinner together on Tuesday night and then walked around the shopping district near where she lives. We stopped and got pedicures. In the AM, we went to the hospital for her procedure. About an hour after they took her in, they came in to get me, but instead of taking me to the Outpatient recovery area, they took me to a consultation room. My heart stopped for a minute until the doctor, who came in with me, said something like Wendy is OK. Then I wondered why I was in there. He explained a complication that had happened and that Wendy would need emergency surgery. Her surgeon (the one that has operated on her about 3 times in the last 11 years) was in the building and came into the room in just a few minutes. We talked for a minute and I went upstairs to the Surgery waiting room and was there until about 4:30, when I met Wendy in her room upstairs. Basically, we have been in her hospital room for a week (she got out yesterday evening--Wednesday the 28th--went in on Wednesday the 21st the week before). She's going to be spending a few days with Jennie. I drove home after I got her settled. I'm happy to report that the surgery repaired not only the accident that occurred during the outpatient procedure, but repaired a larger problem that had been bedevilling Wendy for quite some time now, and in fact, that had caused the accident in the first place--so she'll be better now than she's been for a long time. I'm tired and she's getting well. Perfect ending!

Correction, please!

So, now you will need to delete all those mental notes you have placed all over your brain about coming to Dallas next Labor Day for the Family Reunion. The final (??) plans are set and the new venue is Provo, UT for Labor Day. We will have our family gathering as well as a very large celebration for Grampy's 85th birthday. I hope all the family can come. I hope I can come...

Family DVD

So, I finished the Family Reunion 2008 DVD. It's about an hour long and contains most of the pictures from the reunion that were on the http://www.photoshop.com/ website that I made for everybody to upload their pictures to. Also included are some really old (well some are older than others) pictures from when we (the Martin siblings--Linda/Bob/Jeff/Cheli) were little, some when our parents were little, and one even from when our grandmother (Nana) was a baby! I just put some nondescript music to it so you could put it on, mute the sound and have it in the background. Actually I rather like the music so at least give it a listen. I will need to know how many of these to make (so far I only have one--mine). As I noted in a comment to one of Bob's blogs, I think they were going to charge $5 for them and use the money to help defray some of the next reunion costs...Dallas, 2010 Labor Day weekend (Grampy's 85th birthday), right? I sure hope to see everyone we saw at the last Reunion and hopefully even more Utah/Nevada Martins--somebody please put a bug in Bobby's ear--I'd sure love to see that guy! --also, Jenna, ahem--we need you and yours, too--and Joni--I know the vicissitudes of BBQ are wide and deep, but we haven't even met your Jared! Everyone put it on your calendars, place it in your hearts, and make many mental notes and scatter them all over your brains--that way no matter what you are thinking about, the idea of going to Texas for Labor Day will pop into your stream of consciousness. Later--gotta go (working on red mush)...

See My New Tools

On the left, my new Kitchen Aid food processor. I have shredded, sliced, mixed up, and just generally made many things. I have started buying block cheese and whole head cabbage, etc. I am hoping I can save a little money buying that way. We'll see... In the middle is my Blendtec Home Kitchen Mill. This is wonderful. Christy brought me some large cans of wheat when she was here at my retirement events, and I have been really looking forward to milling it and making bread. This is really nifty. The flour is very fine and so far, we're enjoying our bread. Tonight I made some with wheat flour, molasses, quick-cooking rolled barley, quick-cooking rolled oats and sunflower seeds. (yum) I am letting it rise overnight in the refrigerator--Wendy reminded me that the longer bread rises the better (finer) the dough is. Thanks Wend. On the right is my newest acquisition, my Kitchen Aid 5-quart stand mixer. Of course it works like a dream. Best job of kneading "I" have ever done. :) I did a lot of "homework" on the internet and running around town finding the best buys--dragging Mark and Bobby here and there checking availability and prices. If anyone wants any information about where to get any of these items, by the way, I'll be glad to share. I got them all in different places and at the best prices I could find--and there were wide variances in pricing. Between my new sewing machine and my new kitchen tools, I have no time for the occasional part-time job I said I'd do. I'll give it a try, but, well, you know... I went to class two days (last Thursday and yesterday--Tuesday) to get trained on two new software applications I'll be using in the job (the OCCASIONAL part-time job). There wasn't anything that was really difficult, but I realized that what I disliked most was, first, having to get up early and get "fixed up" and leave the house; second, being away from my home all day long; third, driving all the long way home; and last, how tired I feel in the evening and the sense that I didn't have any time to do anything at all in my home--just fix something quick to eat, relax a little and drop in bed. No, I definitely have my doubts about this being a long-term thing. Maybe a few months. I don't know, I just LOVE being home every day--or running around--maybe going out of town with Bobby--whatever, just something I choose. Anyone who would just love to come and visit would surely be welcome--you know who you are...

...with apologies to Gilbert and Sullivan:

So, here's the Buttercup quilt. You can't see the poem unless you're up close. If I were to do it again, I would use a much darker gold for the text blocks. Oh well... I took the poem from the Gilbert & Sullivan operetta "H.M.S. Pinafore". Since I changed a few words, I guess it's ours now.

I'm called Little Buttercup

Just Little Buttercup

Though I could never tell why.

Yet still I'm called Buttercup

Sweet Little Buttercup

Dear Little Buttercup, I.

Anyway, it's coming to Austin in December to meet the real Buttercup. I can't wait to meet her.

Autumn and Winter

This is Labor Day. Summer is coming to an end. In this part of the world, that's something to think about. I have read AmyCW's feelings about autumn and on a superficial level always disagreed, because dreaded winter was on the way. It found it difficult to enjoy something that's the precursor to something I definitely do NOT enjoy. Having spent 10 years living in the Rocky Mountains, and arriving there directly from San Diego, I think I could be forgiven for not noticing the beauty of autumn--I mean winter was coming and YIKES!!, I hated winter. I guess it has taken me another 25-30 years to get over it, because I carried the dislike for autumn here and never got over it--until now. Now back to Amy's discussions about autumn--that girl truly loves it. I believe it's contagious because having read her words, and given them their deserved thought and consideration, I decided consciously to dissect and change my opinions about this quarter of my life. Dissection was simple--oncoming winter made it difficult to enjoy the moment. AH HA! That's the key. Enjoying the moment--sort of like enjoying life even there will be an end to it--enjoying old age because the end of life is nearer--you get the picture. Being in the moment is something just about everybody gives lip service to, but as you can see, I have failed in this--until now. Cooler weather is here (sorry Amy--it's cooler here in Oklahoma!) and I am thinking about jeans and sweaters, sneakers instead of flip-flops, and jackets in the evening. Thinking about them, not quite there yet, but I can feel that it's coming. I'm going to re-read Amy's monologue about the joys of autumn and will be immersed in it soon. Winter will come, but so will spring--and I don't want to miss a minute of either.

Embroidering "Buttercup"

Since I'm doing the embroidery by hand on my Buttercup project, I thought I better get right on it. So far, so good. If I take enough aspirin, I can do it! I designed this myself, and apparently this is a novelty. In every store I went to in order to get all the supplies I would need, I was asked what # thread, what pattern I was using, etc. When I said I just put it together myself, it was met with surprise--I think even maybe admiration. (hehehe) No big deal. But I do love this project and can't wait to get it finished. That should coincide with Buttercup being born, I hope. See you soon, little one!

My New Janome (juh-NO-me)

This is what we bought today. It's made in Taiwan--as are most machines today, I discovered. Janome and Brother are the only sewing machines left that are actually manufactured by the company they're named for. All the research I did lead me back to this brand. I talked to a lady who teaches sewing at Bernina and she told me that she thinks Janome is the best machine. I read reviews by folks posted on the internet, I talked to several dealers--everyone was unanimous--get a Janome. So I did. This model (DC2010) is a straight sewing machine--I was advised by the dealer that if you're only going to have one machine, it should be a straight sewing maching instead of a serger. They asked if I'm interested in embroidery, but I think I wouldn't use it except maybe for making things for Buttercup and little C, and it wouldn't be worth the extra money. First thing I did was mend a shirt I had laying on my sewing table for about 3 months. Now to finish my family room door curtains.

Changing Things Around

So, I got a little tired of the professional picture with the pink page. Blue-gray is a little more tolerable, I think. Not sure that I really like it yet. Something interesting has happened in our back yard since we added our new room, patio and patio cover. The big ugly black birds that had moved into our roof and old patio cover moved on because our new roof doesn't have a place for them to nest. Now we have groups of robins, blue jays, cardinals, of course sparrows--and many others I'm sure I don't know. They live in the trees and apparently the big black birds don't, because the trees are still out there. It's a pleasant view from my computer. Have a great day!

My Veggie Wraps

Well, I just finished eating my new favorite supper. Remember the Veggie Wraps with Peanut Butter Dipping Sauce from AmyDubDub's blog? Well, that's what I had tonight. Fabulous. I don't use the sauce as a dipping sauce, I just pour it in the veggies directly. When I try to dip, the veggies fall out. Wonderful!

Bobby's surgery and recovery

Well, I think we're past the worst of it. Actually, today was the most painful his incision has been -- I think it's healing and stinging/itching. I caught some sort of stomach mess and was really ill the day I brought him home--I came in and lay down on the couch and fell asleep. Yesterday was a repeat--just plain yucky. Today a little tired, but stomach OK. This evening, I think I may actually survive. Meanwhile, I have been taking care of Bobby, who, lucky for me, slept a lot yesterday. We got out a few times today. He's taking a muscle relaxer and 1/2 a pain pill so he's a little "goobery" -- and I can definitely tell regular goobery from drug-induced goobery! The pain in his leg emanating from his spine is gone. That was the purpose of the surgery, so we're grateful for that. I think that's all.

Home Again, Home Again, Ziggety Zog!

Well, we made it. We had so much fun with Christy and her boys while they were here. Then we went to Houston with Amy and had a great week down there. We got to stay with Cheli and Grampy on Saturday night and visit with Jennie and Alisa on Sunday before they took us to the train. Our ride home was an adventure. Calysta told everybody that she had been to the beach. I didn't need to worry that my home would go to pot while I was gone--it looks exactly like it did when I left--party stuff here and there--same food only now older in the refrigerator (I asked Bobby what he ate while I was gone and he said, "oh I don't know, this and that") --laundry patiently waiting--so I am not bored and wondering what to do with myself yet in my retirement! My ears are full of wax, my head aches with sinus mess. I really wish I wouldn't get hung over and full of the morning after when I know I didn't have the night before! Tomorrow we start the procedures to get Bobby's back repaired so that'll be the main focus for a while now. Ready, set GO...

In Texas

I think I'll replace my profile photo. It's one I had taken at work and looks altogether too "professional". That really won't do. I am loving this week at Amy's house. Her boys are being darling. Calysta is having a good time playing new games and being the "little sister" (sometimes they're pests, you know), and of course, it was wonderful to see Karie (and finally her little biscuit) even for just an afternoon. It's a great thing to see that your children grew up to be capable, smart and kind--I don't think it gets any better than that! We're doing sewing machine research so I can make a good decision when I get home. So far, the best recommendation is a reconditioned older Singer--definitely not a new one. I dunno. If anyone has another opinion, I would love to hear it. I have great grandbaby quilts to design and create--I'll make one and the others will be like it--same as I did the grandbaby quilts. Tonight we're going to Bunko (Bunco?) and I will finally discover what that's all about--I have been hearing about this for a long time from many different people, but never participated. Then we're driving to Galveston and the beach tomorrow--can't wait for that--it's good for my San Diego girl's heart. It's early and I'm reading a book, so I'll go work on that--no, not work, just read.

checking in...

I'm visiting with Amy and her family in Houston this week. This morning we're going to Curves--I hope I find some there. My foot is at it again. I don't know what gives with it, but it's maddening--sitting for many hours usually will do it, though. Bobby and I sold our new motorcycle and cargo trailer. It's a bittersweet thing. We didn't really want to sell, but riding was getting progressively more difficult, so--well, there you are. We got the price we asked. Going to ride over tomorrow to Austin and see the beautiful and pregnant Kare-bear. I am still trying to wrap my brain around becoming a GREAT grandparent! yikes. I remember my great grandparents. They were very old even the first time I remember them. mercy. Amy is up, the kids are still asleep and the washer is running. The week has started. I think it's going to be a fun one...

GOAL!!

Well, today's the day. Going in to work for my last day. "Day" isn't actually accurate--precisely, that is. I'll be there at 0800 as usual, but leaving around 1100 or thereabouts. Yippee! I have had Amy and Christy here this week with Dylan, James and Jake also. Yesterday Calysta came--of course Mark has been in and out all week, too. I had the pleasure of watching Jake and Calysta playing yesterday afternoon, and it was a testament to how he is treated when learning a new skill or just in general, maybe. Calysta asked him to hook up her Wii Disney Princesses game so he did. They were in the living room and he was showing her some of the finer points of how to play with the remote and Wii generally. His voice was gentle and his words were kind and insructive. What a wonderful little guy! I think they'll have a lot of fun next week when we're all at Amy's home. I can't wait. Bobby will have back surgery on Wednesday, August 19. I'll let everybody know how that goes afterward. Bye--next time you hear from me I won't even remember what I did for a living. hehehe

m-m-m

Well, I just discovered that I like Lingonberry Preserves--and Swedish flat bread isn't bad either. Together they make a perfect snack. Thanks Amy!

The Long and Winding Road...

I am off work today. It's lovely. I got up and got Poppy off, sat down at my computer and read blogs. Christy and her family will be here later this morning. This will be a fun day. I have 2 1/2 weeks left before I retire--16 days--and only 12 more to actually go in to work. I have cut my hours to 6--9 to 3:30--not too bad. It's just that I'm not really doing any actual work at this point--just teaching others how and what to do and when--makes me tired to think about it. This is reminding me of lying down in deep plush and purring--I guess my alter-ego is a cat.

Places to See and Miles to Go

Amy WW has started a series about places she would like to see. It made me think about our plans to do exactly that in the next few years. In fact we already started. We went to Vermont and stopped at Niagara for a day (and night). Wonderful. We went to Alaska on a cruise. Beautiful. We also went to Novia Scotia on a cruise and thought that was a truly extraordinary place and would love to go back. The thing is, when we went to Vermont, Hurricane Katrina hit and we changed our route back and missed Washington, D.C. So there's a place we want want to visit. When we went to Alaska, we were in the middle of one of the worst storms to hit the Gulf of Alaska in a long time, and missed most of the stops until we got to the inland waterway--and two people died. When we went to Novia Scotia, the last picture Bobby took on the way out of the Hudson River and we were looking back, was the World Trade Towers, and the date stamp on that picture is 9/8/01. So we had to scramble on our way back to get any flights at all, as New York harbor was turned into the Morgue after 9/11. We were told not to travel anymore by several of our friends. :) Well, we will, and included in the places we would like to see are Hawaii and the Northwest USA. Being born and raised in San Diego, I never thought much about Hawaii, but after living nearly 30 years in Oklahoma, I think I would love to visit there. Some friends of ours moved there last year and have invited us to stay with them when we go. So, we will likely visit Hawaii. Since Bobby has cousins in northern California and Oregon, we will most likely visit there, too. There are other places, and I thank Amy for bringing up this subject and making me think about it again. Stay tuned...

Winding Down...

I'm at the weird place in a job where I am just about out the door, other people have been assigned to do my various (legion) tasks, and they're still learning how to do them. I have written two quite large books about this and that--what to do when this happens, when to do what, the cascade of daily chores and how this must be done first so you have all the information you need to complete something else. Whew! ech I am not actually doing anything. I organize, put into piles, make lists, sit and read articles on the internet. There's a whirl of work going on around me, but I'm in the eye of the storm and the other side of the storm is not on its way. :) One thing I have realized is that I do a LOT of stuff. The funny thing about this is that I don't really care whether or not anyone does anything with what I have produced for them. If they throw it all out and just skate by with mininum--OK. I'm no longer invested in it. I know the manager of my department is concerned. I think his concern is enough for the whole department, and I am happy to let him worry about it. That's all. I'm in a really great place...

Today

I was sick yesterday. Since I don't actually get sick very often, it always seems like an assault to me. My stomach was taken over by demons--the kind that make you feel like vomiting would save your life. ech Well, the demons have been exorcised but I'm in that sort of half-light place where it feels that they went off and left a lot of pop cans, gum wrappers and grafitti all over the place. But I can think about getting some work done around my house--I did nothing yesterday, and go grocery shopping--again, nothing yesterday, and maybe even cooking a little ahead for next week--yep, nothing there either yesterday. 40 days to go until I retire. Now I'm excited for my girls and their boys to come. This is going to be such a fun couple of months!

Loose thoughts

Today is Flag Day. When we were little, Gramps (Ralph Beaman, Grammy's father) had a tall flagpole in his front yard and raised the flag on each "flag" occasion. Our neighbors the Carters (they lived next door to my great grandparents, Pa and Ma) also had a flagpole. On the flag morning, Gramps and Mr. Carter always hurried out to raise the flag--Gramps would always mention that either he beat Mr. Carter or Mr. Carter beat him in raising the flag. If you were quiet in the morning you could hear reveille blow on the Naval bases down near the harbor--that was Gramps' cue to get out there with his flag (actually on the nights when I was still awake, I could also hear taps blow at 10:00pm). The truly interesting part of this story is that Gramps died on June 12, and was buried on June 14th (Flag Day) under a waving flag (as a World War I veteran, he also had a flag-draped coffin). In fact, all the flags were flying in San Diego that day for his ride from the Funeral Home to the cemetery. I know he would have loved it. He used to take us (Bobby and me) on Sunday afternoons to the cemetery to feed the swans. He loved those swans. His grave is located right across from the swan lake and just down from the flagpole. It all just seemed so appropriate! Tomorrow is Scott's birthday. He would be 39! Christy says that is hard to imagine, because even though he is her older brother, he always seems like a little guy. I have 54 days until I retire. I can barely wait. I can't remember the last time I anticipated an event with so much eagerness. Plus, I'm going to get to see Amy and Jakey (don't know if James can come--haven't heard that part yet) and Christy.

Our Graduates

I'm in Tempe, AZ this week to attend the graduations of Ragan and Jared! What a big deal. Jared looked so great with his Masters hood over his gown. Mark and Calysta came out with me. She and Alex have been sooo cute to watch. Today the guys (all of them and some friends) are going to go do guy stuff and I'm taking Abby, Alex and Calysta to the nail shop and then to lunch--sounds like way more fun to me. We'll get manicures and pedicures--it'll be great. Brooke, Ragan's sister, is getting married in October out in San Jose, and all the women in their family are going to Tucson today --that's where Ragan's and Brooke's step-sister lives--to try on wedding dresses. Fun! (another great day full of fun activities). I think everybody is going home tomorrow. We're leaving for Norman tomorrow at 0:dark 30. Long drive. yech Good week...

How are we doing?

So, I went down and weighed in this morning. As you can see, I have made my goal of 118 lbs. I even have a little wiggle room. So, how is everybody else doing? I know we aren't having our Family Reunion this year, but I assume the contest is still on. I think my challenge is keeping the same weight--or thereabouts--until next summer!

Cats, Flowers and Genes

Ma used to feed the cats. She didn't personally keep any pets, but she fed cats nevertheless. Every day, she would come out her back door and take the catfood dish in. They would start to gather. By the time she came out with the dish full of food, and another with water, they were there. Five or six usually--they appeared at mealtime just like clockwork. She would talk to them while they ate. Then she'd go in and get her teapot full of boiling water and pour it carefully into the cracks of the sidewalk around her yard--killing millions of ants marching around here and there. I think I'm going to feed cats when I retire. I always thought it was pretty cool how they just came for dinner. Nana grew geraniums--all varieties. She had a whole back yard full of them. She knew each variety and loved them all. My favorite were the Martha Washingtons. They're lavender tipped with white centers and a fine black line like a sunburst coming from the center. For you folks in the Rocky Mountains--in San Diego, you can grow whatever you like whenever you like--outside in your yard. We had ferns, poinsiettas, geraniums, birds of paradise, carnations--all growing year round. I would love to be like Nana and have a garden of beautiful flowers, but I am afraid that gene went directly through me to some of my children--Amy and Jennie especially are terrific flower growers. Amy planted a beautiful flower garden a few years ago in the flower bed in my front yard. It was great, but the flowers were annuals. Nana inherited this trait from her father. Pa was a wonderful gardener. Everything he touched grew. How wonderful to have a green thumb! I wonder how many others of their descendants love to garden...

Sick

I don't remember my Nana being sick--ever. I know she must have been, but I have no memory of it. Ma either. "Ma" and "Pa" were the names we called Nana's parents--Grammy's maternal grandparents--Martha and Peter Rasmussen. I remember going in her house--Bobby was usually afraid to go alone--she had mysterious things going on. Sometimes she would be lying on her bed with colored lights shining on one body part or another--ear elbow, etc. It was a light with a frame around it, and she had colored celophane that she put in the frame--and it shone whatever color the celophane was. The thing is, different colors were for specific ailments and pains. I know this theory is extant in some regions, but I don't know what it is. Ma was a great practitioner, though. Also, she could belch. I'm pretty sure she could hold her own with ANYONE. I used to sit and watch (and listen!) with amazement. I never realized, as a little child, that one day I would also have a stomach full of anonymous gases and other detritus of meals and be able to do it almost as wondrously as she did. yech... The thing is, I remember Pa being sick. He got "flu" or "a cold" and went to bed--of course. I also remember Gramps getting sick a few times--he didn't go to bed. He just coughed and spewed from the kitchen table where he sat doing crossword puzzles. He had a truly nasty handkerchief wadded up beside him and used it frequently during those times. Grampy had malaria during World War II. The trouble with malaria is that when you are better, it keeps coming back. He and Grammy were married in 1952, and he was still having those periodic spells of it. He got really sick--chills, fever, shaking--he was really bad. Gradually the time between the spells grew longer, and at some point, they just stopped. Of course, we didn't know it until we realized--hey it's been a long time--well into the 60's. When Bobby is sick, well, you know. The reason I'm thinking about this today is because I am either really allergic -- probably -- or I have some sort of virus. yech... I'll probably be feeling well tomorrow--it's my plan.

On Saying Goodbye

Our friend died. He died from being "rode hard", badly maintained, and things getting worse than professionals could manage. But still, he's gone. We talked about the fact that going forward, this will happen more and more frequently. I have heard very old people say that one of the hardest things about growing old is that so many of your peers are dead. I hope his family all knew how much he loved them. I hope he told them and showed them often. His wife (also a much loved friend) said she wouldn't have believed how much this hurts. When we married, we were in our 50s and knew for sure that the term of our lives was limited. One of us will have to say "good bye". Hopefully when that time comes, we will be able to be there and actually say good bye. Better still, let those we love know it all the time. If you never saw someone you love again, would you be comfortable in the knowledge that they knew you loved them?

Grammy

Tomorrow my mother will have been gone for a year. It doesn't seem possible. In the last couple of years, I saw my parents at least every six to eight weeks. However, for much of this last year it didn't seem as though she was gone, because for about 20 years or so before she got sick, many months would go by when I didn't visit. So it didn't seem too strange not to see her. But then I think about it, and remember that she is gone. It feels disorienting to be in the world without your mother. Somehow your mother is like where the compass points, and wherever you are, you know the place where she is, and you are oriented. One surprising (to me) thing that has happened is that I have also thought a lot about my grandmother, Nana, and somehow it has seemed as though I lost her all over again. When we were little and living in Mesa before Grammy and Grampy were married, Nana and Gramps (Reta and Ralph Beaman--Grammy's parents) came to get us in the summer and took us back to their house in San Diego. I don't know where Bobby stayed during the school year while Mother was at work, and I was at school, but in the summer, we both went to San Diego. Gramps was fun to be around. Nana was much more serious. As most of you know, in the west there are many rivers without water in them. As an aside, when Bobby and I first knew each other when we were driving somewhere, he mentioned a river we were about to cross and I asked him if there was water in it. He really thought that was a strange question--he said something like hello--it's a river. I had to explain that in the west there are probably more rivers without water than with. Well while driving with Nana and Gramps, every time we crossed a river that had water in it, he would yell--and very loudly-- "WATO". I never knew why he said wato instead of water, but he said it with relish and we always laughed--oh, and he always blew the horn halfway across the bridge. He was so much fun. We didn't have a phone at our house (you remember--the three houses in a row--and ours was next door to Nana and Gramps.) So, if people wanted to talk to one of us they called Nana's house. We had a wire hooked up between our houses, and they would push a button at their house, and it would buzz at our house--a doorbell probably. We had a code--so many rings for Mother, so many for Daddy, so many for me, etc.--Bobby was little and I don't think he had a code.) When George Hinkle called to talk to me when I was about 13, Gramps told him that I had climbed on the roof of the garage to escape from a really mean dog who was chasing me. I was sitting at the table with Gramps when he said that and we were laughing. He put his finger to his lips like, "shhh". I waited a minute and answered the phone. George was frantic--he said something like--are you OK? I assured him I was. I don't think he ever knew. Well, I was telling Grammy what Gramps did, and she told me that when she was in high school, a boy called her, and Gramps told the boy that Mother was out on Highway 101 and had opened up a hot dog stand. Later the boy asked Mother who that crazy man was at her house! Does this sound like any people we know in subsequent generations? I'm just saying...

A Beautiful New Diamond Ring

Daddy brought me Nana's diamond a few weeks ago--I blogged about it. Well, today I went to a re-style show at Zale's and had it set! The setting is beautiful. It's a yellow gold band --wide like my wedding band--with a cathedral structure on the side. That means that the gold slopes upward toward the top of the diamond on the sides. The diamond is set down into the setting in a platinum 6-pronged crown. When the jeweler saw it, she exclaimed, "Oh, it's really old". Bobby says, yeah millions of years, I think. What she meant was that the particular cut of this stone is how they used to cut diamonds at the turn of the last century. Nowadays they put a bigger flat facet on the top--she said she thinks the cut of this diamond has much more fire. I'm going to post a picture on MyFamily so go there and look! I think it's really beautiful, and I think all would approve--Ma, Nana and Mother. When I look at it, I am struck at how many years it has been since I saw this beautiful diamond on Nana's finger when I was very little and taking piano lessons from her. I'm also struck that I'm at the top of the women in our family--ok, ok--the oldest. It's truly a bittersweet feeling. Of course, I would have preferred to see Mother's ring on her own finger--but, that's just not the way life is. I am really thankful that I have this wonderful heirloom from so many of my loved ones now gone--and I'll be the last one who knew all of them.

A New Valentine's Day

When Hunky Bob and I were little, our mother, Grammy, made us breakfast every day. One of my favorite things was hot cereal, which she made alot. The one I liked best was Wheathearts, a cereal that I can't find anymore. You know how mothers say the same thing over and over again? Well, Grammy -- every single time she cooked Wheathearts for us -- said, I'm cooking Wheathearts for my Sweethearts! every time. I liked that, and loved the cereal, so it was fine with me. Valentine's Day was celebrated by making a heart-shaped cake and frosting it pink, or a regular cake and putting little candy hearts on it--something like that, and we knew we were her valentines. That's what Valentine's Day was for us. Until I had children, we didn't "do" Valentine's Day celebrations, but after they came along, I did the wheathearts for my sweethearts thing--until I couldn't find Wheathearts any longer. I also did the cakes with little candy hearts on them. They were my valentines. I hope they knew it. They also made me darling little valentines, and I loved them all. Bobby brings me cards, flowers, and silky things on Valentine's Day! It was a wonderful surprise the first time he did that. Now I know I have someone to share this day with even though my children have all moved on and started their own lives with their own valentines. What a terrific prospect! So, this year, my little valentine, Calysta, and I went to LA Nails and got our nails done, then my big valentine and I went to PeiWei for lunch. This evening I'm going to fix him a cold shrimp platter, a warm slaw salad and hot crescent rolls. It's small things, on a small day, but my heart is warm and feeling loved. Happy Valentine's Day to all my valentines.

Estelle

When I was about 9 or 10 my Nana took me to downtown San Diego to the apartment of a friend of hers named Estelle. It was in a high-rise apartment building (high-rise for the 50's) and I was very excited to go with her. Estelle gave me a book--it was a paperback book about astronomy and she had written "To little Linda with stars in her eyes". I loved that book and had it for many years--and I began a lifelong love of astronomy--heavenly objects in general. In fact I took astronomy many years later as a general education requirement, and nearly changed my major--I still loved it--I really had a knack for it--I had a high 90's average! I was taking evening classes at BYU during the fall semester in 1975 when Scott died--I took Eric to class with me one evening when we were going up to the observatory. I was VERY pregnant (it was just a few weeks before Jared was born) and the whole class held its collective breath while I climbed up the ladder and onto the roof. Eric looked at the moon and proceeded to go to every person in the class and told them, "Have you seen the moon? You need to look at the moon, you think it's smooth, but it's rough--you need to look at it!" He was so excited--everyone thought he was very cute (well he was, of course.) Back to Estelle--it turned out she was the mother of "Bill", the guy who started Alcoholics Anonymous, and quite acomplished in her own right. Nana really liked that lady. I remember a few years later when she died, Nana told me about it and wondered if I remembered her. I showed her the book--by then very worn and bent up--it made her happy--Nana was very big on self-improvement, studying whatever she was interested in, and felt that it was the duty of people to keep learning all their life--she believed way back then that if you keep your brain really active, you can put off "getting senile". The funny thing is, first we become our mother--I have gone past that and am actually becoming my grandmother. Daddy brought me a picture of Grammy taken when she was about 44 --wow! About the age of Amy (dubdub). Amazing. As soon as I get to it, I'll scan and post on MyFamily, and also photoshop.com.

RIngs 'n' Things

Grampy and Cheli came up this weekend and Grampy brought me Grammy/Nana/Ma's diamond. I will have it set and in time it will pass to Amy and then Karie, etc. So, here's the story of the diamond. Ma and Pa (Martha and Peter Rasmussen--parents of Nana --Reta Beaman--Grammy's mother) owned a really tiny shed-like building in National City--community south of San Diego in the 1920's or 30's. They rented it out to an old guy--a bachelor. Well, in time he fell in love and bought a diamond solitaire to give his girlfriend. He popped the question. Well, she moved in, cleaned out his bank accounts and left before she got the diamond ring. When his rent was due again, he was out of money because of the girlfriend, so he brought the ring to Ma and Pa and asked them if they would hold the ring until he could get some cash for rent. They said yes, they'd to that. Well, before he could bring the money, he died. They tried to find relatives, but alas, that was unsuccessful. So the ring came into the family and Ma wore it for a time. By the 1950's when we were living next door to Nana--with Ma and Pa next to Nana and Gramps--you remember I explained that situation in an earlier blog--Nana was wearing the diamond. I was practicing piano one day at Nana's house and she was sewing--Nana could sew beautifully--even tailor--and I started watching her sew. I noticed the ring on her finger, and told her it was sooooo beautiful (I must have been around 10 or 11). She said that ring would go to my mother and in time to me--to be passed to the oldest daughter down through the generations. I thought that was pretty cool--at that age I hadn't considered how exactly I would get that diamond--that I would have to lose not only my grandmother, but my mother as well. That part isn't so great, but the diamond is beautiful, and I am going to have it re-set and will pass that ring on to Amy and then Karie. It's a beautiful 1.25 carat flawless white diamond. When I was 12, Grampy gave me a beautiful opal ring with sapphires all around--eight in all--four on each side. He had gotten it from a girlfriend in the Philippines. He had the opportunity to go home early unexpectedly, gave the ring back to her, she got mad and threw it down. He saw where it landed and put his boot (he was in the Army--it was during World War II) down on it and hid it. She decided she shouldn't have thrown it down and was looking for it, but failed to find it and went off in a huff--nothing changes in the world, does it? So, after she was gone, Grampy picked it up and took it home. He gave it to me when I was 12. Many years later it was gone from my stuff. I couldn't find it and I looked all over--it's a long story that you really don't want to hear. During this last visit, Grampy told me he had the ring--apparently, the kids' dad had taken it over and left it on a table at their home when we left after a visit. Daddy thought I had brought it back and wondered about it but kept it. He told me he had it and I was SO happy to hear it. I had looked all over Provo for it but it was gone. The next time I'm in Texas, he said to remind me and he'll give it to me again--after being lost to me for abut 35 years. Yippee!

Janus sight

This is the season for Janus (say "jay' nus"). In fact January was named for him. Janus was the Roman god of portals and gates, of beginnings and endings. He had a face on both sides of his head, enabling him to see backward and forward. This is where I am in our family. I can see back several generations and forward a few, too. I remember my great grandmother, Martha, and also know my tiniest grandchild, Allie--a span of six generations. At the beginning of each year, I am always reminded about precious lives that are no longer with us--probably because that's when we lost Jason. Becoming a grandparent creates a profound change in one's perspective. I saw tiny Jason and knew him--and loved him--immediately. I could pick him out of a group in the hospital nursery--even though we couldn't see the name on his little bed. I experienced a connection that I never expected and was unprepared for. The level of love I have for my grandchildren is inexplicable. Surely it is due to the fact that they're the offspring of my own children, but still, I was unprepared. We believe that our little people belong to us and will always be there. Of course, this flies in the face of the obvious fact that they'll become their own people with distinct personalities from us, grow up and leave us, possibly move far away from us with their sights on their own families and away from us, but we don't think about those things when they're little. Losing my little son was the cruelest event. It became a dividing point in life--before Scott died and after. I thought I couldn't experience more hurt than that. Then I lost little Jason, and not only felt that loss, but also the pain of my own child. I discovered that the anguish of my daughter was not only unbearable, but it was compounded by the loss of the precious grandson. All of this is seen from my own perspectives, of course, and I know I was not the only person in the family affected by these events. But this blog is all about the view from my eyes. Grandma Amy Brown lost two little ones: Irene and Roy. Roy was poisoned when he was two years old playing with rat poison. He and his brother John and a cousin were all poisoned, but Uncle John and the cousin lived. Roy was the littlest and was lost. Irene died of pneumonia at two weeks of age. One of the last things Grandma talked to me about was how hard it was to lose those little people from her life--and this was from a perspective of about 60 years, in the 1990's. She said she looked forward to meeting Irene and Roy and telling them about how wonderful their brothers and sister were! Ma (Martha Rasmussen, my great-grandmother) lost two children, and her response in later years was to put it far from her-and not discuss it. With life experience, I can see that this was due to the great pain she had when she thought about it, and I understand it, but would love to have heard the stories about those two little ones. One of the stories I heard from Grandma Brown was that one of her older brothers was killed (murdered) in Durango, CO many years before as a young man, after leaving a saloon with poker winnings, which were stolen. She told me how her mother (my great grandmother, whom I never knew) mourned for the rest of her life. Grandma was always hurt that nothing she ever did in her life was good enough to compensate for that terrible loss. It was a good lesson for me--long before I knew I would need it. These musings about those gone doesn't make my day (week, month, year) sad. It just brings back poignant memories, little faces no longer here, and makes me even more grateful for the beautiful family I still have.